Untitled #54 & #55

This feels like home
It seems that God has smiled on me again
You; the answer to one of my many unuttered prayers
I have you; I’m for you

This feels like home
On my bed separated by only cotton
Holding onto one another, hoping that we can have this forever
You in my arms, and I in yours

This feels like home
To be loved but not known is superficial
To be known and not loved is jarring
To be known and loved is home

Home is you
Love is you
Forever is you
I’m for you

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Home
It certainly felt like home
It’s only fitting that the word ‘home’ would remind me of you
You; the answer to one of my many unspoken prayers

This feels like home
Home, alone
Reminiscing, trying to not get addicted to the pain

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Found these. Incomplete drafts, same theme.

 

…from the other side

How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.

-W. H. Auden

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It’s the Blog-versary. I have not been very active since the year began but I’d be getting back into the saddle soon. I thought I’d share the above excerpt from one of my favorite poems ever.

Untitled #53

What do I do now?
With all this poetry celebrating a forever love
Daydreams of starring into your eyes and taking your scent in
What the hell should I do
With all the memories we were going to make
Or the ones we already did

What do I do now?
With all this feelings that I still feel
When I said those three words I meant them
And I still do
All this love and no one to give it to
All this intent but no actions to put them through
What the hell should I do?

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i wrote this as a comment on the Great Aku’s blog here.

Untitled #52

today, i remembered your smile the first day i saw you.
the other day, i remembered the taste of your lips when they met mine for the first time.
the other other day, i remembered your scent and how i always wanted to smell it – and just know that you are close, to me, with me.
the other other other day, i remembered you and that was yesterday and the day before and the day before the day before and probably tomorrow as well.
i miss you.
ever still my muse.

with love.
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i need suggested titles for my untitled poems.
i promise to use them. the suggested title will be a suffix.
please 🙂

Untitled #51

I wonder

Is this how it’s always going to be?

An unintentional reminder here

A random word there

And I’m triggered – it all comes flooding back

My blood pump beating faster than it normally would

And sometimes, I have to fight back the sudden flood that threaten to break the dams

The box of broken dreams and memories that would never be made still sits there – literally – still unopened

I miss you.

“Some loves lodge themselves in the tissue of being like mercury, pervading every synapse and sinew to remain there, sometimes dormant, sometimes tortuously restive, with a half-life that exceeds a lifetime.”

Untitled #49

Am I to now grieve with you in your grief?
Am I to now pause my wallowing and attend to your pain?
What is this madness where I’m listened to but never heard?
How am I to soothe your pain which is piggybacking off my pain?
“I am pained by your pain”
Your attempt to sign the empathy register was duly noted
You can keep your anecdotes and cute quotes
You will be fine
That’s what you wanted to hear?

Untitled #48

Love is patient, love is kind
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud
It is not self seeking and it is a whole lot more
It’s all sweet and sounds nice until it requires us to be..
Have you got it within..
Have you got Him within..
Saved sinner or otherwise, it’s a mighty long walk
There’s no fear in love, but there is a cross
To fall in love is to create a religion that has a fallible god
Falling for the fallible in a fallen world
What would you get? it’ll go wrong eventually
Can’t take that chance; a real brother moving in silence
Never attached to anything
Can’t love these beings; my time would come quick
The unspoken motto of my younger self..
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hi, it’s been a minute since i have updated this. my sincerest apologies to those that follow my blog and have been expecting some posts. i plan to be more consistent on here.
the post above is the first draft of a spoken word piece i’m working on. let me know what you think.

Untitled #44

‘Freeee’
O, I wish I could just proclaim this and it will be true
‘Freeee’
O, I wish I could just scream this and it wouldn’t be a boomerang of pain that’d return in a couple of hours, days or weeks
In this journey towards catharsis;
Trying to get over the sudden burst of the seam;
Just when I feel like I’m getting used to this pool of pain;
I am pulled under, almost drowned, by a memory, a song, a place, a poem..
It hurts.
Pain hurts.