Untitled #51

I wonder

Is this how it’s always going to be?

An unintentional reminder here

A random word there

And I’m triggered – it all comes flooding back

My blood pump beating faster than it normally would

And sometimes, I have to fight back the sudden flood that threaten to break the dams

The box of broken dreams and memories that would never be made still sits there – literally – still unopened

I miss you.

“Some loves lodge themselves in the tissue of being like mercury, pervading every synapse and sinew to remain there, sometimes dormant, sometimes tortuously restive, with a half-life that exceeds a lifetime.”

Untitled #49

Am I to now grieve with you in your grief?
Am I to now pause my wallowing and attend to your pain?
What is this madness where I’m listened to but never heard?
How am I to soothe your pain which is piggybacking off my pain?
“I am pained by your pain”
Your attempt to sign the empathy register was duly noted
You can keep your anecdotes and cute quotes
You will be fine
That’s what you wanted to hear?

Untitled #48

Love is patient, love is kind
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud
It is not self seeking and it is a whole lot more
It’s all sweet and sounds nice until it requires us to be..
Have you got it within..
Have you got Him within..
Saved sinner or otherwise, it’s a mighty long walk
There’s no fear in love, but there is a cross
To fall in love is to create a religion that has a fallible god
Falling for the fallible in a fallen world
What would you get? it’ll go wrong eventually
Can’t take that chance; a real brother moving in silence
Never attached to anything
Can’t love these beings; my time would come quick
The unspoken motto of my younger self..
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hi, it’s been a minute since i have updated this. my sincerest apologies to those that follow my blog and have been expecting some posts. i plan to be more consistent on here.
the post above is the first draft of a spoken word piece i’m working on. let me know what you think.

Untitled #44

‘Freeee’
O, I wish I could just proclaim this and it will be true
‘Freeee’
O, I wish I could just scream this and it wouldn’t be a boomerang of pain that’d return in a couple of hours, days or weeks
In this journey towards catharsis;
Trying to get over the sudden burst of the seam;
Just when I feel like I’m getting used to this pool of pain;
I am pulled under, almost drowned, by a memory, a song, a place, a poem..
It hurts.
Pain hurts.

Untitled #46

the many shades of uncoupling;
the freedom that tempts one to despise the bounds of love
or whatever you want to call it now;
the give and take of mutual adaptation now seem to leave a bitter taste;
that is how it goes – falling for the fallen on this side of the divide.

that’s just how it goes;
when two shapes merge to become one;
some edges are blurred in the one;
the realizations of uncoupling – finding and feeling that lost edge again;
it’s just one of those things; the bounds and the cross of love.

In a heartbeat..

Can you hear it?
Have you felt it?
Can you see it?
It’s somehow both tangible and intangible isn’t it…
This I know; my heart beats for you..
Biology and science has nothing on you…
They say there are millions of bytes of information in a strand of DNA…
Listen close my Love, sometimes uneven, sometimes steady, listen…
There’s so much more in a heart beat…

Musings #12

IMG_1724
“It’s one thing to believe in sacrifice, it’s another thing to live with it.”
I heard this quote while watching Madam Secretary, a US drama series. The sentence just hits the spot. I was reminded of another quote that is in the same vain; “We all love to say that Love is patient, until Love requires us to be patient”. It’s a common theme in life isn’t it? I have had and am still enduring some form of it – the drag of the dichotomy of the heart and the mind. It is one thing to know something to be true with the mind or brain or head, it is another to have gone through and know by experience. Read More

Musings #11

Worship

Are we not so prone to it?
Be it fellow humans or things.
The eternal one or fleeting things, moments or feelings.
What is it about that vacuum.

Self-Denial

I’ve been thinking about this lately.
It can be hard. Very.
Struggling with desires, longings and temptations.
There really is nothing new under the sun.

Growth

I’ve always thought it to be obvious and self evident.
It’s all been downhill from the beginning.
Barring the truth of the message.
We are going nowhere slowly.

Work

What is it about this?
We all need that sense of purpose.
In life, this matters.
The eternal can never be earned though.

Life

What is life without love.
To love and be loved.
To know and be truly known.
Love is supreme.